Rae's Philosophy
by Rae Logan
Summary: Sidestory to "TD" series. Mephiles learns more about Rae as she tries to keep him from getting bored after waking up from his little "coma".


OMFG! I can't belive I typed out this long little thing! It was almost 14 pages!

Anyway... it's set durring the afternoon that "She Shouldn't Have Come" ended off at. Basically, Mephiles and Rae exchange some words, mostly on Rae's part, as Meph learns a little (okay... a _lot_) about Rae. Rae also learns about Meph's story as well. Rae's story is very much true, so you know... you can't really make this stuff up!

* * *

Mephiles fluttered his eyes open a bit as he started to wake up again. He brought his hand to his face, and rubbed at his eyes with it to help him wake up even more. He felt glad that he could move now, not as much as normally… but enough to say he had definitely had some improvement.

He felt a weight on his chest that was only a little heavier than the one from before he woke up than time previous. Lifting his hand from his eyes, he swiveled them down and saw not only Jak there, napping… but his two new Chaos, Krystal and Sharpe, as well.

Krystal had her tiny claws buried into Mephiles' chest fluff, and seemed to find that as her favorite place to be. Mephiles couldn't blame her… he often thought that his chest fluff (though, essentially… he had really stolen the concept from Shadow when he was resurrected from the hybrid hedgehog's shadow not but nearly a year ago.) was one of the best (if not, the fluffiest!) of his features.

Sharpe was curled up against Jak because Krystal took the best spot. In his paws, he held what Mephiles thought was something that bared a strong resemblance to himself.

He blinked and carefully reached a clawed hand over to his Chao, and gently prodded it. It was made of clay, and a rather well sculpted attempt. The "chest fluff" was made of white clay, and possibly had been carved with a toothpick.

Wondering where it could have came from; he glanced to his right and spotted Rae sketching out something on paper. Her gloves had been taken off and set beside her, color splotches of the clays on its fingers and palms. Rae's ears twitched and flickered at the sound of Mephiles exhale of air and she looked up eagerly.

"Hiiiii!" She dragged out the word longer than necessary, dropping her pencil to wave her hand in front of her once, but slowly, for as long as her greeting.

"… Hey…" Mephiles said, still thinking about the clay figure. If the gloves were a telltale sign… than Rae would have been the culprit in making it. "… um… how long was I out this time?"

"Only several hours… you didn't miss much…"

"… uh… where did Sharpe get the… um…"

"Oh, that?" Rae laughed, setting down her pencil and paper, and leaning forward, grinning as she pointed to the Mini-Meph. "I made it myself. I was bored and there was some clay lying around. I think the coolest apart is either how I got the two shades of blue to blend over, the quills… or the chest fluff… I even made a little purple power gem thing for it. What did you guys call that?"

"… Chaos Emerald?"

"Yeah! That's right! I made one to go in the right hand. You can't see it right now 'cause Sharpe has it…"

"Why… why would you made a clay figure of _me?_" Mephiles was really curious. He had seen that the blue hedgehog had his own line of plushies, and _Shadow_ even allowed himself to be licensed for merchandising… but no one had really given Mephiles a second thought. Not that he was complaining… it's just that he didn't think he would be a good choice for stuff like that.

"Well, first…" Rae started. "I like to try challenges, and see… you looked like a pretty tough one to get it right. I also like to make stuff that looks like things I like, and I had plenty of clay in your colors…"

"… I didn't know you were pretty good with art…"

"Only if it's cartoony or anime-ish… can't do realism much for anything. It only turns out good if I take a lot of time on it. But I don't like to waste time, and I hate the restrictions realism has compared to the loose feel animation has."

"… Oh…"

"So… how are you?" Rae shifted the subject to focus on him instead of her.

"… Well… I'm _awake…_"

"That's a good start."

"And I would _like_ to move… if I wasn't weighted down…"

Rae giggled.

"Actually… you've been down for about a month… so you might have a little trouble walking right anyway…"

"… _Why?_" Mephiles was now a little worried at this thought.

"… You haven't walked in a month, so your leg muscles haven't really been used. Because of that… you'll have a little weakness when trying to do that. It's easily fixable, though. You just have to keep at it till you're back to normal…"

"… How do you know all these things, Rae? You seem to have an answer for just about anything we've asked…"

"I read a lot… y'know, like books and internet. I look up all sorts of stuff. I've also had some things either given to me on a firsthand account by someone else, and some of it I've actually had happened…"

Mephiles would have continued questioning her, but Rae seemed to have gained interest in a fly that was buzzing in front of her. She swatted at it with a laugh, and tried to direct it another way with the wind from her swat. Rae truly was quite a different kind of person.

Mephiles blinked, and realized Jak had already left his spot and was now sitting in Rae's lap. Mephiles blinked again and raised an eyebrow. When did Jak move?

He brushed it of and asked: "Where's Shadow and Rouge?"

"Out." Was Rae's only response.

"So, they left you here? With me?"

"_Some_one had to be here when you woke up. Otherwise you might have been worried. And if something had happened while you were by yourself… _that_ would have been bad…"

"Did they say where?"

"Naw… not really."

"Oh…"

Silence.

"You bored?"

Mephiles twitched an ear before nodding slowly.

"Hmm… Can't really do much right now…" Rae said, abandoning her fly. "It's a Sunday… so not very many good shows or movies are on right now. At least not till primetime."

"Any suggestions?"

"A few. My cousin and I do this often. We either tell really angsty parts of our lives in the way a stand-up comedian does, repeat things from TV, re-interpret another story in a completely different way, come up with random one-liners in a story and sketch them out, spend all night watching a DVD over and over again… pretty much as much as you can do with out using the internet until later."

"… How about the first one? How do you do that?"

Rae grinned and giggled.

"Easy… you take something you had happened to you in you life that was somewhat traumatizing, and just turn it into something humorous by illustrating how odd it really was."

"Demonstrate for me, please."

"'Kay…" Rae got up, Jak already sitting on the couch as she brushed herself off and cleared her throat. "Ahem… 'Kay, see… I once lived in a trailer park when I was little. I think I was between six or seven then. Anyway, I was often shunned by the kids in there because my family… or rather, _myself_, was considered… weird. I had no father, my mom almost couldn't handle me 'cause I was a little brat then, and the guy who lived with us, who would soon be called 'My 'baby' brother's father', or eventually: 'My mom's ex', was probably one of the closest things I had to a 'Dad'… at least before he called social services to take me away…"

"… That's kinda… sad…"

"Not finished yet… So anyway… this was a pretty good sized trailer park. I mean… we had one trailer somewhere that was even as big as a house! Or… it used to…"

"How so?"

"It was in the middle of the park, right before you turn the corner to the next isle. There was a big tree. _Every_one had big trees there. Even our yard. That one took up the whole space so we had nothing, really. Anyway… there was this tree. A _big_ pine tree. I couldn't even see the top of it. It was that big. But, our landlord decided one day that we shouldn't have trees in our yards, so he had them all cut down. The big tree was cut before ours, though. I remember that day pretty well, too…"

"What happened?"

"Here's the good part…" Rae giggled again, having to stop for a moment to catch her breath. "So he has the guys cut it down. And when they do… the dudes forget to catch the piece they cut. So it falls on the trailer. Cuts it in half!"

"No way!"

"Yeah, really! So we now have this trailer in pieces that's bringing down property value! Do trailers even have property value?! They're houses on wheels! Not even houses, more like a hallway with closets! My room didn't even have a door. My room couldn't even be called a room. The closet was bigger, and I had only enough free space to step twice. And I had most of my stuff in a cubby over my head. The side door to the trailer was right in front of my room. So if a psycho was loose in the neighborhood, and opened our door, he'd have a straight shot for my closet… room."

"… I'd have never guessed that…"

"I know! I also remember finding some 'Calvin and Hobbes' comics, too."

"Who and what?"

"'Calvin and Hobbes', a comic that ran in the papers in 1985 to 1995. I was about five when they discontinued. It pretty much about this six year old kid and his stuffed tiger toy who's like his imaginary friend or something. They get into all sorts of trouble and fun, and adventures. Anyway, I found them in the end of the book box/shelf/thing. We didn't really have a bookshelf. It was really a box on its side with a wood plank in the middle. Anyway, my mom left them there, and I found them, and like them, realizing these are the comics I learned to read from in the newspaper. The very same. One problem…"

"Hmm?"

"They had belonged to my birth father. These were _his_ books my mom had managed to get a hold of, and apparently, that made them forbidden or something…"

"Forbidden… _comics?_"

"Yeah… even though they were for kids. So once my mom found out I had them, she told me to never touch them again. She gave them to me after a few months though."

"Your mother doesn't seem to follow through with things…"

"She tries. She also wants me happy, regardless of whatever. That's why she tried to find me a father for a long time. That's where her ex comes in to this picture. I think they met when we were still at the homeless shelter, or something… I dunno, I just remember him not being there, and then he's in our life, sharing a room with my mom!"

Rae didn't seem to really understand the whole meaning of the last statement, so Mephiles lowered his raised eyebrows slowly.

"He shares a room with her, and the next thing I know, my mom tells me I'm gonna have a sibling soon!"

Yep… Rae didn't seem to understand that concept fully…

"So after my entire life being raised as an only child, only finding out about my sister and two brothers not but sometime before that happened, I find out I'm gonna be a big sister!"

"I bet you were excited…"

"Uh huh! 'Cept for the first six months, I was convinced I was going to have a sister. I really wanted one, seeing as I already had two brothers at the time, neither of whom I had met. I actually had another as well… but I didn't find out until three years later. So, given the situation… naturally… I get another brother."

"I see…"

"Cutest one I've ever seen, too. A lot like me, but not a lot like me, y'know?"

"Not really…"

"Same type of fur and eye color, just his was a lot lighter. I used to be pretty distrusting and reclusive, but he just made me melt. I was always my best around him. Best part was that his first word was my name. _My _name. How many sisters get to say that?"

"I wouldn't know…"

"Oh… right. Sorry…"

"Go on, though…"

"Well… I only got to live with him for about four months before social services took me away."

"And who were they?"

"They were the people who decide if a parent can care for a child on their own… stuff like that. They said my mom couldn't take care of me. Aside form some things on her part… I was a _real_ problem child. No sense of anything. No manners. No social skills. If you didn't know me now… you'd say that that _couldn't_ even be related to me!"

"I wouldn't believe it at all…"

"I know, I've come along way! So they take me away during school. Naturally, I want to know where my brother is, because I've seen stuff like this on 'The Simpsons'…"

"You were allowed to watch that when you were little?"

"No…"

Mephiles raised an eyebrow.

"So, I want to know where my little brother is…" She continued, as if that wasn't out of the ordinary. "But no one _listens _to what seven year olds have to say. They just give me some K'nex to build something with while my social worker fills out the paperwork for this children's home. I started to love these things after that, too… best building toys ever! So I make a Ferris Wheel out of them following the directions, and I get stared at like someone my age couldn't do it. The only thing I saw wrong with it was that I didn't have a battery powered motor for it, so I built around it.

"I then get placed in a 'Unit' for girls, and my bed is on the far side of the dormitory. Away from the door, and away from much of anything. I got over my fear of the dark then, when they had to shut off the lights that night. Sometimes, they left them on dimmed, only when other girls were added who were really scared."

"How come not for you?"

"I never said anything. I never asked questions. I never really tried. I figured they knew what they were doing. Adults should be smart like that, y'know."

"I suppose…"

"Every Wednesday, we had to make our beds. Hated it, too. Couldn't go to breakfast until I did. Never really liked the concept of having my bed so close to the wall, made it hard to get it on the other side. We had our laundry cleaned too. Everything we had had to have our initials on them so we could tell you what was ours. School… everyone was in the same class, regardless of age. Most of us were to be there for a few months anyway… so it wasn't bad.

"Food was okay. I remember one of the best parts was watching our empty glasses scoot across the table after the tables were cleaned with soap. The bubbles made them move. We'd have races, the girls and I. It was funny. Once of the most 'stand out in my head' moments, though would be when I accidentally poured orange juice in my cereal."

"How did you do that?"

"The milk and the juice cups all looked the same. If you don't really pay attention, you could grab the wrong one. Worst bowl of Golden Grahams I ever had…"

"I wouldn't have that problem… I'd stay away from the milk…"

"Oh, right… Rouge told me you're allergic to the stuff!"

Mephiles' muzzle darkened a shade of red under his pale fur, as he looked away.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed of…" Rae said, catching his embarrassment. "I used to have a cat who was allergic to corn. Couldn't touch the stuff, or he'd break out in sores and rashes. We didn't realize he was allergic until my sister-in-law noticed that his symptoms match her dog's corn allergy. We thought he was just really sick, or something. We got it fixed though, and he didn't have corn again… at least until that one day, I think…" Rae ears drooped down a bit, prompting Mephiles to ask her: "Why?"

"He got a hold of some spoiled cat food left outside, and was already sick with something else. The cat food had corn in it, and it was all that was needed for us to lose him in one evening… He's under my old window now, a little tree and a garden around his marker stone…"

"… I'm so sorry…"

"That's okay… he was a great cat, and we couldn't really have known that was going to happen. We still refer to him as if he was still with us sometimes, like etching his name with ours on the patio when it was still drying, and saying things that were like his as 'Just like Jamy's…" instead of 'was'…"

"Your family must have liked him."

"We did. A lot actually. He was really meant to have been a mouser, and not be an indoor cat, but he managed to work his way into our lives and hearts. He was big and heavy, but his personality was like that of a kitten. He always needed to be saved from a sticky situation, and we always thought of how something would affect him. Even our other cat, Shy, who was older and a different breed altogether, looked after him. She had her foot torn to the bone twice for his safety."

"_What?_"

"I'm not kidding. There used to be a feral cat running loose in our yard, and he tried to pick a fight with Jamar. Jamy wasn't really a fighter at all, and wasn't really a challenge. Shy sees this and comes tearing up the yard and _tackles_ the thing off of him!" Rae slammed her hand into her other one, and pulled the hit one back to emphasize how she meant. "She tackles this _huge_ cat off of Jamar! And Shy's not a big cat either, she's small for her age… she petite. But she's tough! Can snap the neck of a full sized rat, and leave him in the middle of the yard for us, thinking that is some kind of great gift for us. That's how a cat's mind works… they give the member that's higher up on their social pyramid the 'best' catch as a sign of respect. That rat was meant for Mom. Mom… not my mom. My grandma who adopted me… remember?"

"Yeah…"

"'Kay… just checking… So Shy tackles the cat off of Jamar, and chases him to the side of the house! Fur flying everywhere as we hear them yowling and hissing! The cat then runs off, and Shy's leaves form sight. We don't see her until later, when she comes limping into the house, head held high, as she dripping blood on the carpet. Little bloody footprints coming from her, and she acts like it's nothing! It's too late in the night on a Sunday to take her to the vet because they aren't open at that time, regardless of emergencies or not, and she acts like her foot showing off her bone is _nothing!_ We don't call her 'Shy-co" for nothing, this cat is _truly_ a character. We had to wait a whole, anxiety filled night before we could see if she would be okay. Luckily, we caught it before she had gotten a bad infection. Any longer, and it would have been risky."

"You said she had her foot torn twice… how did that happen?"

"A week after she had the stitches and the cone on her head taken off, that cat came back. We didn't see the fight, but she came limping to my friend and me, her foot torn open again. Mom and I took no time getting her to the vet again. They said she might have caught her foot on a fence… but that didn't look like a fence injury. She also had some of the cat's fur caught in her claws. Twisted around them, y'know. Like she was trying to make sure we got the story right. The vet was skeptical, but Mom and I knew. Shy wouldn't lie to us."

"But she's a cat. She can't really talk."

"You'd be surprised what she tells us without words." Rae grinned slyly, winking at him. "She uses her tail, her movement, her 'meows' and what she does in general, to express herself. She doesn't like to be ignored."

"How?"

"A twitchy tail, up and down, means she's ticked off. Side to side slowly means she's pleased. Straight up means she's feeling high and mighty, and wants to be treated as such. Tail tuck away is annoyed, and if its tip is twitching, she's fidgety."

"What about happy?"

"She purrs like any other cat. Mad, she growls lowly, and if you don't heed that warning, a deep hiss and a slap is 'Leave me alone! Don't say you weren't warned!'"

"Can you _talk_ to animals or something?"

"No… not any more than you can. I just know what their body language and subtle signs mean. Been around them my whole life, see."

"Same ones?"

"No… the years come and go, as do my little furry friends. Some go quietly, some don't… and some are taken by jerks…"

"Who would do that?"

"Some bratty kids and loser jerk-wads. I used to have a cute black and white kitten named 'Jasper'… named for the Tom from 'Tom and Jerry', his first name, y'know. He loved to follow me and my mom to the 7-11 not to far from my other grandma's house. We used to live there. He would follow us all the time. I decided not to go one day, so he had no one else to be with him outside while my mom picked up some sardines. My favorite fishy snack… dunno why… maybe 'cause they were cheap. We weren't really rich, see. Well, she goes in to get some, and comes out to see he's gone! Someone nearby told her that some trucker guy had picked him up and stole him, even though the person who had seen them told them that that was our cat! They didn't even care how that would hurt a five year old! I loved that cat!"

"People seemed kinda mean twelve years ago…"

"Most of the ones I knew were then. Kids threw stuff at me, teased me, stole my things, ruined some of my stuff… y'know… the usual peer abuse. Only me, too…"

"Why? You didn't do anything to them, did you?"

Rae shook her head.

"Naw… but kids really don't need a reason to do that kinda stuff, see. Kids are an entirely different kinda species when you boil it down. Most kids don't really have rules, no kinda morals, and act on impulse. There's a code of conduct that is not really followed all the time. They say 'Don't be a snitch!" but won't hesitate to tell everyone what you've done wrong, especially your parents. They want to have their turns right away, but won't let someone else have a go. They want to borrow other people's stuff, but won't share theirs, and give the things back in pretty bad shape. Kids want fairness and equality, to be included in activities, but won't give it a second thought if they want to exclude someone else. In short… kids are savage. But we can't deny that we were one once before."

"_I _never was…" Mephiles stated, surprised at this fact. "I didn't get a chance to try… what does that make me?"

"Different. And different is good. Different sets you apart from others, and makes you unique and memorable. If you were like everyone else… you might as well not have a name."

"But, if everyone was different… would we all be the same because everyone is not like the other?" Mephiles wanted to try Rae's logic, seeing if he got the point.

"That's a good concept. If no one was the same, and we were all different, we'd be the same because we'd be as different as the other. The same kind of different…"

"Where do you get these ideas?"

"Simple. I think. I analyze. I theorize. I guess. I build up the ideas, and then I speak. I question reality, and people think I'm weird for that."

"But, _how?_ Where does your logic come from?"

"What I think. I think like this because of who I am, and how I was made. I am what I am because of my life and who I know. What's happened to me, and when it did. Everything that has been a part of me shapes me for who I'll be, and what I am. If I'm to be a thinker… it is because of the things that have happened without a clear reason that need an explanation. If I'm to be a writer… it is because I want to express my feelings and thoughts in a way that won't be lost like some memories can. If I'm to be an artist… it is because I want to show what is inside my mind and thoughts, giving them a form you can see and interpret. If I wanna be that… I can because I can. And I can because I want to be. And I want to be because I can. Makes sense?"

"… Not really…"

"Basically… I do what I feel is right, regardless of what society says. I follow what I think is right. I am myself, even if I get shunned for that. I'm not afraid of what they think."

Rae hopped down from the chair she had been standing upon during her little philosophical rant. She smiled.

"People can't really see that sometimes because they don't want to. It's not like what they have known their whole lives, so it frightens them. Kids are actually easier to convince, silly enough. They haven't had that kind of thing happen to them, and are easily imprinted with the ideas of others because they have nothing to tell them otherwise. They're just stubborn once they decide that's the truth. To them, it's the right way because they say it is. It's even more right to them when other kids agree. They may be savage… but they're also pure of heart."

"That's… unusual…"

"That's how it is. Can't do anything, because that's how life goes. You live, you learn, you grow, and you teach, you care, you play, you give and you take. _That's _what it is to live a life. There are hardships that don't make it easy… but it's all a part of life. You learn so you can improve so that you are truly who you want to be."

"And what do you want to be?"

"Me? Nothing too much really. I just want to be someone who's as good of a friend as you can find. Someone who's not afraid to comically trip and toss her papers up in the air as she falls, if it'll make your day better. I want to be the one who will give up her food if you lost yours, and always be the one who will hear what you say, when others won't listen. The kind of friend who always be happy to see you, even if you just came back because you left something behind. My phone is on when you need me, and I won't hesitate if you're in trouble. The kind of friend who will throw away her own fears if it means that it'll help you. _That's_ what I really want to be. The 'someone' who cares."

"That's pretty deep…"

"I'm pretty deep with my thoughts I just don't get to share them much… People mistake that for talkativity. Blame that on my 'condition', y'know…"

"Condition?"

"Oh, right… you weren't around when I told Shadow, during the first day I met you. I have a combination of ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome. ADHD stands for 'Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder', and Asperger's is like a mild form of Autism or something… I got a paper on it somewhere… Got it from Wikipedia…" Rae dug through one of her tails, shaking her head ever now and then, saying things like: "Pencils… eraser… quarter… thing of chips… Jak Snax… homework…"

Finally she smiled and pulled a few sheets of paper and said "Ah ha!" as she waved them around.

"Okay… I'll skip the boring stuff for ya…" She said as she started to read:

"'_Asperger's syndrome is one of the __autism spectrum disorders__ (ASD) or __pervasive developmental disorders__ (PDD), which are a __spectrum of psychological conditions__ that are characterized by abnormalities of __social interaction__ and communication that pervade the individual's functioning, and by restricted and repetitive interests and behavior. Like other psychological development disorders, ASD begins in infancy or childhood, has a steady course without remission or relapse, and has impairments that result from maturation-related changes in various systems of the brain. ASD, in turn, is a subset of the broader autism __phenotype__ (BAP), which describes individuals who may not have ASD but do have autistic-like __traits__, such as social deficits. Of the other four ASD forms, __autism__ is the most similar to AS in signs and likely causes but its diagnosis requires impaired communication and allows delay in __cognitive development__; __Rett syndrome__ and __childhood disintegrative disorder__ share several signs with autism, but may have unrelated causes; and __pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS)__ is diagnosed when the criteria for a more specific disorder are unmet. The extent of the __overlap between AS and high-functioning autism__ (__HFA__—autism unaccompanied by mental retardation) is unclear. The current ASD classification may not reflect the true nature of the conditions.'"_

"I'll skip ahead a little…" Rae said after that long statement. "Ah… Characteristics…"

"'_A __pervasive developmental disorder__, Asperger's syndrome is distinguished by a pattern of symptoms rather than a single symptom. It is characterized by qualitative impairment in social interaction, by stereotyped and restricted patterns of activities and interests, and by no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or general delay in language. Intense preoccupation with a narrow subject, one-sided verbosity, restricted __prosody__ and __intonation__, and __motor clumsiness__ are typical of the condition, but are not required for diagnosis.'"_

"Well, that would explain your tendency to trip easily, and excessive information you give to us on one thing…"

Rae's eyes started to tear up for a moment, and Mephiles realized he may have worded that wrong.

"I'm sorry! I meant that you have a lot of insight on things!" He tried to cover up on that. The last thing he wanted to do right now was hurt Rae's feelings.

Rae shifted her gaze down for a moment.

"… You… want me to go on?" She asked a little hesitantly, her ears out to the side.

"Go ahead… I'm interested…"

"… Okay…" Rae looked back at the paper. "Now where was me? Oh… right… social interaction…"

"'_The lack of demonstrated empathy is possibly the most dysfunctional aspect of Asperger's syndrome. Individuals with AS experience difficulties in basic elements of __social interaction__, which may include a failure to develop friendships or enjoy spontaneous interests or achievements with others, a lack of social or emotional reciprocity, and impaired __nonverbal behaviors__ such as eye contact, facial expression, posture, and gesture._

_Unlike those with autism, people with AS are not usually withdrawn around others; they approach others, even if awkwardly, for example by engaging in a one-sided, long-winded speech about a favorite topic while being oblivious to the listener's feelings or reactions, such as signs of boredom or haste to leave. This social awkwardness has been called "active but odd". This failure to react appropriately to social interaction may appear as disregard for other people's feelings, and may come across as insensitive. The cognitive ability of children with AS often lets them articulate social norms in a laboratory context, where they may be able to show a theoretical understanding of other people's emotions; they typically have difficulty acting on this knowledge in fluid, real-life situations, however. People with AS may analyze and distill their observation of social interaction into rigid behavioral guidelines and apply these rules in awkward ways—such as forced eye contact—resulting in demeanor that appears rigid or socially naïve. Childhood desires for companionship can be numbed through a history of failed social encounters._

_The __hypothesis__ that individuals with AS are predisposed to violent or criminal behavior has been investigated and found to be unsupported by data. More evidence suggests children with AS are victims rather than victimizers." _

Rae started to sum it up to shorten the reading.

"It also says that '_People with Asperger's syndrome display behavior, interests, and activities that are restricted and repetitive and are sometimes abnormally intense or focused. They may stick to inflexible routines or rituals, move in stereotyped and repetitive ways, or preoccupy themselves with parts of objects._' About our speech and language skills, it says: '_Although children with Asperger's syndrome acquire language skills without significant general delay, and the speech of those with AS typically lacks significant abnormalities, language acquisition and use is often atypical. Abnormalities include verbosity; abrupt transitions; literal interpretations and miscomprehension of nuance; use of __metaphor__ meaningful only to the speaker; __auditory perception deficits__; unusually __pedantic__, __formal__ or __idiosyncratic__ speech; and oddities in __loudness__, __pitch__, __intonation__, __prosody__, and __rhythm__._' There's other problems… but I'll let you check it out later."

"Anything about causes? How you get it?"

Rae nodded slowly, as if she felt skeptical about what was written.

"Yeah. '_Hans Asperger described common symptoms among his patients' family members, especially fathers, and research supports this observation and suggests a genetic contribution to Asperger's syndrome. Although no specific gene has yet been identified, multiple factors are believed to play a role in the __expression__ of autism, given the __phenotypic__ variability seen in this group of children. Evidence for a genetic link is the tendency for AS to run in families and an observed higher __incidence__ of family members who have behavioral symptoms similar to AS but in a more limited form (for example, slight difficulties with social interaction, language, or reading). Most research suggests that all autism spectrum disorders have shared genetic mechanisms, but AS may have a stronger genetic component than autism. There is probably a common group of genes where particular __alleles__ render an individual vulnerable to developing AS; if this is the case, the particular combination of alleles would determine the severity and symptoms for each individual with AS._'. I dunno. I don't really know of anyone else in my family who could have given that to the gene pool. As far I know… I didn't even know this existed until I was thirteen. It's still pretty new to me."

"Only recently?"

"Yep. My doc messed up or something. Thought it was all the ADHD's fault or something… It says something about diagnosis right here."

"'_Diagnosis is most commonly made between the ages of four and eleven. A comprehensive assessment involves a multidisciplinary team that observes across multiple settings, and includes neurological and genetic assessment as well as tests for cognition, psychomotor function, verbal and nonverbal strengths and weaknesses, style of learning, and skills for independent living. Delayed or mistaken diagnosis can be traumatic for individuals and families; for example, misdiagnosis can lead to medications that worsen behavior. Many children with AS are initially misdiagnosed with __attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder__ (ADHD). Diagnosing adults is more challenging, as standard diagnostic criteria are designed for children and the expression of AS changes with age. Conditions that must be considered in a __differential diagnosis__ include other ASDs, the __schizophrenia__ spectrum, ADHD, __obsessive compulsive disorder__, __depression__, __semantic pragmatic disorder__, __nonverbal learning disorder__, __Tourette syndrome__, __stereotypic movement disorder__ and __bipolar disorder__._'"

"Makes it hard to convince classmates I'm not any of the others listed." Rae said bitterly. "Honestly… people think just because I choose to switch from tick off to bright and cheery because I don't like negative emotions… I'm bipolar or something…."

"That must be frustrating…"

"It is. I was almost put in primary special education in the third grade for that too! Just because no one bothered to look into it."

"You've had it bad… I'd never guessed it from seeing you the first time."

"Do I do a good job hiding it?"

"Pretty much…"

"Good. I'd rather most people don't know that about me. Impairs their judgment of me before they really get to know me, see. They don't see me… they see a kid who probably doesn't understand them, and someone who is easily mislead. Students try to pull that one on me…"

"They do? That's not right!"

"They don't care. High school is as brutal as it is fun. I've learned not to trust anyone but my friends though. I'm not as gullible as I used to be. If I don't understand what they're trying to do… I ignore them. Drives them mad, too."

Rae stopped for a moment, and stared before blinking.

"Oh… I'm sorry! We trailed away a bit. What about you? What do _you _want to be?"

Mephiles was a little surprised she remembered that after all she just said. He blinked but couldn't find a good answer.

"I… dunno really. I never gave it much thought before." He answered quite honestly.

"Ya sure? There has to be _something._"

Mephiles blinked again, and glanced at his Chaos, who were blissfully unaware of the stories that had been told while they slept. He took a deep breath, and began his story.

"For most of my life… I was a self-proclaimed demon of darkness that wanted to destroy time itself. I wanted to fuse with a flame that was basically my twin, so that we could create an ultra being to do that. That flame was trapped inside the daughter of my creator, only bound for as long as she didn't shed a tear. I wanted to break that curse and set him free so that we could join together. Before that, I was trapped in my own curse. Sealed in darkness because of a simple misunderstanding. It was that mistake that drove me to insanity, and made me a monster. I wanted revenge for what had been done to me, and sought to first take it out on the one who wronged me. But due to the constant meddling with time itself, the one who I thought was the one who trapped me… hadn't even reached the point in time in which he would go back to my creation and seal me away. I knew him… but he didn't know me at all. Of course… I was too foolish to realize that, and went ahead anyway…"

"What did you do?"

"Sent him and his friend 200 years into the future, and went after a Chaos Emerald to further amplify my power. They met the 'Me' in the future, and after a lot of things happened… they got back…"

"You're going to be alive 200 years from now?"

"I'm a failed lab experiment, really… I have a much longer life expectancy… I also physically age slower."

"Cool! That's one heck of an ability!"

"Maybe… maybe not. Well… they get back, and try to track me down before I get the Emerald. The whole thing took two straight days. Neither of us took a break, too. But I managed to get the Emerald just seconds before they caught up."

"Of course… it's _always_ seconds before…"

"True… So there's a full out fight because I have the Emerald to enhance my power. Takes longer than the last one. Much longer. I almost get sealed back into the Scepter of Darkness… but it's too weak to hold me anymore. I break out, fight continues, I lose… so I take a last ditch effort, and fuse myself to the guy, and invade his head…" Mephiles made sure not to mention Shadow's name at all. He didn't want to make it sound as bad as it was. "We're stuck like that for a couple of days, me being a little beastie by trying, and I actually do, take over his body, and try to carry out my plans anyway. Not for long though. I almost drowned the first true time I got control. His friend saved me, and _that_ was one of the most confusing things I have ever known. In my eyes, she could have let me die, and end their problem. She didn't because she didn't want to lose the friend I was controlling. It wasn't until later, I truly began to grasp the concept of friendship, and I was able to repay her, because by saving us for him, also meant she had to save me."

"How'd you pay her back?"

"She tried to split us with an Emerald. Didn't do it right or something. Might have been my fault really, because the two of us were slowly swapping personalities. We get split, be now we're not the same as we were before. _He_ wants to destroy things, and _I _want to stop him. Another fight, and I get injured pretty badly. Mostly because I was taking most of the hits meant for her. He didn't really have the sense of friendship in him at the moment, so he didn't really think about what he was doing before he tried to attack her. It wasn't his fault… It was mine for starting the whole mess to begin with. I get hurt pretty badly, but keep fighting because I've unleashed this monster on this world. And only I can stop it, which I do… with the very Emerald that split us. I freeze him and ask her to fix us, because only she could, mainly because I have no strength left in me. She fixes us, and I find myself different. I'm no longer the very monster I was before. I… someone…"

"So what happened to that guy?"

"He's one of my best friends…"

Rae couldn't help but laugh.

"Funny how that works out, huh?" She giggled. "So I know what you were… but what do you want to be now?"

Mephiles blinked again in surprise.

"You don't find that a problem, what I was before?"

"Naw… What's done is done, and can't be changed, and so we move on. You can't change who you were… but you can change what you will be in the future… The past will only drag you down if you let it. So… what do you want to be?"

"…"

"C'mon… I won't laugh…"

"…"

"Really… I won't…"

"… Okay… I guess… just… someone. That's all… just someone…"

"That's all?"

"Yes…"

"You wouldn't have to work hard at it…"

"Why?"

"You're already someone to us."

"Everyone?"

"Yeah…"

"Even to Shadow?"

"Enough that he came to rescue you when you were kidnapped. Enough that he seems to care about your wellbeing…"

"… He does… doesn't he?" Mephiles said slowly, just realizing that.

"Jak likes you. Rouge does. Your Chaos do. I like you, too."

"So… I'm someone because I'm liked?"

"You're someone because people give thoughts about you. They take time out of their day for you, and they share ideas and stuff with you. You're enough of a person to be more than a 'someone' really… you're a 'friend'. That's more than a 'someone'…"

Mephiles couldn't help but smile at that. Hearing those words made him feel better about himself.

"Thanks, Rae…"

"No problem… I love to help…"

* * *

Whew! That was long. I really meant for Rae to tell him stories for his boredom... but this came up instead. I like it though.

Also, Rae's info for Asperger's Sydrome is taken right off of Wikipedia. I couldn't really give an accurate discription, dispite me being a "sufferer" of it. I don't really understand it fully either...

Hope you liked this though :D


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